"Only an Italian will Understand"
Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents extended family
You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals a day,not seven.
You were hit a least once with a wooden spoon.
You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your left hand.
You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.
You thought Catholic was the only religion in the world.
You thought nylons were supposed to worn rolled to the ankles.
You watched Lawrence Welk and Ed Sullivan every Sunday Night
All of your uncles fought in a World War
You have relatives you don't speak to.
Your grandparents funriture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic. What!!! you were sitting on plastic.
There was a saint somewhere in the yard.
Boy's didn't do housework because it was women's work.
Credits: Corinne Santarpio, Joann Caputo
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Subject: Goomba-Italiano
I'm sending this out to every person I know who is Italian, could be
Italian
married an Italian, lived with Italians or wants to be Italian..... !!!!!
Let's start at the beginning. Come stai? Molto bene.
Bon giorno. Ciao. Arrivederci. Every Italian from Italy knows these words
and every Italian-American should.
But what about the goomba speech pattern? Those words and phrases that are
a
little Italian, a little American, and a little slang. Words every paesano
and Bacciagaloop has heard, words we hear on The Sopranos and throughout
our
Little Italy neighborhoods of New York and New Jersey.
This form of language, the "Goomba-Italiano" has been used for
generations.
It's not gangster slang terms like "whack" or "vig", if that's what you
are
thinking---nope, this is real Guido talk!
The goomba says ciao when he arrives or leaves.
He says Mamma Mia! anytime emotion is needed in any given situation.
Mannaggia, mingya, ooffah, and of course, vaffanculo can also be used.
Capeesh?
He uses a mappeen to wipe his hands in the cuchina , gets agitat' from the
gravy (SAUCE to the NJ gang) and will shkeeve meatballs unless they are
homemade from the famiglia. Always foonah your bread in the pot of gravy
(sauce) or you will be considered a real coocootz or a mezzo-finockio.
There are usually plenty of mamalukes and the girl from the neighborhood
with the reputation is a faccia-brutta, puttana or a schifosa.
If you are called cattivo, cabbadost, sfatcheem, stupido, or strunz ,you
are
usually a pain in the ass. A crazy diavolo can give you the malockyo (evil
eye), but that red horn (contra malockyo) will protect you if you Use it
right.
Don't forget to always say per favore and grazie and prego.
If you are feeling mooshatu or stoonaddu or mezzo-morto, & nbsp; always
head
to Nonna's and she will fix you up with a little homemade manicott',
cavatell', or calamar', or some ricotta cheesecake.
Mangia some zeppoles, canolis, torrone, struffoli, pizzelle,
shfoolyadell',
pignoli cookies, or a little nutella on pannetone. Delizioso! and a nice
espresso cawfee! enna nyza peeza cake!
I think I will fix myself a sangweech of cabacoll' with some proshoot' and
mozarell' or maybe just a hot slice of peetza .
courtesy of CARLO ROCCO
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